I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
