How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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