oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
