Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
