when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
