doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
