i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
is wine microwaveable?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
