you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
