Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
birth control should be required to get into college
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
