Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize