margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
