so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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