I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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