is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
