yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize