the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he fucked my hip out of place.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
