I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
