She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
