Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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