oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
