i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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