the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
