FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
