This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
