I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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