Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
