im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
