I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
