can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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