Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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