Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
