Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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