love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
