And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
