he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
