called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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