try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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