p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
