3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
