After last night, I could never be a politician.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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