So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Do vagina's smell?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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