I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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