these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize