Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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