Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
