my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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