I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
