how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
