I only kidnapped one of them. chill
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
