if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
