as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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