i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
