This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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