Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
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