I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
