Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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