It's Friday. Sex?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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