i think my mom watched the whole time
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
