hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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