i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
