he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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