Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
